Friday, October 22, 2010

head-spinning, eye popping, steam-eared coveting

I nearly worked myself into a coveting frenzy yesterday. I mean for real frenzy. My stomach is still trying to recover from excitement and disappointment for the ultimate covet: a house.

H. and I are not about to buy a house. For one thing, we can't decide where to live. For a second thing, we're not ready for a down payment. Regardless, I check real estate websites like porn. I save houses I like, I get alerts for similar houses, and yet I'm not planning on seriously looking for two years. But yesterday in my browsing I came across a 150-year old dump an hour north of the city that was currently in foreclosure and could have been mine for a low downpayment of about $10,000. Holy vajayjay. Truly: it is a dump. But it is a 150 year-old dump with wide-plank wood floors (that need to be refinished) and 4 fireplaces (chimney probably has creatures). Potential! I emailed it to H. thinking he would make fun of me and ignore me as he usually does, but he was interested! And he said we would talk about it tonight! And we could go to the open house on Saturday!

So, my mind went into overdrive. I imagined myself renting a floor sanding machine, refinishing the floors, painting, making the dump into an awesome castle.

Nevermind that to do all these imaginary DIY projects I would have to frequent Home Depot. And nevermind that we would have to have a car to get to a Home Depot. And nevermind that I've never done anything more DIY than assembling Ikea furniture. In my head I was going to refinish those floors, put new drywall up, paint the outside white with a bright yellow door, and perhaps install some built-in bookcases. It cannot be that hard!

So, I wrote to the agent to confirm the times of the open house, and got his dream-crushing response that they had just accepted an offer. My beautiful dump with potential will realize its awesome dream with someone else. And today I'm growing to accept that my tragic dumpy castle is gone, but I haven't quite stopped dreaming of things I would fill it with. Like this $5,000 octopus:
 And I'll never stop dreaming of the wide-plank wood floors. Anyway.

23/72 - Guy Vanderhaeghe's Man Descending (1982).

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